If Mira Declares It
by Darksknight
Summary: We all know who the biggest shipper in all of Fairy Tail is. Mira Jane. And oh, what's this, she's decided to send teams of two out on missions? What luck! Gajeel and Levy have been caught up in her scheming (no one's surprised) and... well, certainly this is the weirdest mission they've ever been on.


Okay, this is FINALLY finished. I think this is the most trouble I have ever had getting s tory out. It came out weird, and... ugh. But I like it, I think. SO! Whalefriend, darling, this one is for you. Wonderful request- despite all the writer's block I had for this, I really did enjoy writing it. I hope you enjoy reading it just as much. And now- the weirdness.

* * *

"Goooood morning everyone!"

Several members of Fairy Tail moaned, a couple clutching their heads. Most of the guild was spread out in the room, respective teams sitting with each other at their respective tables. The groaning was due to the fact that Mira's microphone was incredibly loud, and the night before had been one of much celebration. Most of the guild's members were still hosting headaches, a couple burdened with killer hangovers.

For the most part, the stronger groups were fine. Natsu's team were all eating calmly at the bar, Gajeel and Pantherlily were having a drink of something in their booth, and a couple other groups looked perfectly fine. Levy wouldn't say her team was one of the strongest, but for the most part they were fine. Levy herself hadn't had anything to drink the night before and had gone to bed at a respectable time, and Jet seemed to burn off alcohol with just a bit of sleep. Droy was another matter, though, as the large man was one of the many who groaned at Mira's bubbly voice coming over the loud speakers.

"I hope everyone's had a goodnights sleep from last night's party," She giggled a little, knowing that was not the case, "Because today we'll be conducting an experiment and changing things up a bit!"

More groaning.

"Lots of other guilds are doing the same thing today, so I don't think anyone will have a problem with this." She went on. "In order to build stronger relationships all throughout the guild, Master Makarov-" said man was in bed, "-has decided to go along with it! For the day, all teams will be splitting up into random groups of two!"

Now a couple of people looked up, interested.

"So, if everyone would please write their names down on a piece of paper-" she produced handfuls from behind her back. "-Than we can get going!"

The paper slips were quickly passed around, even the most reluctant of the guild members a little excited. No one had ever done anything like that before. They all stuck to their teams, and even though everyone hung out together and had really strong bonds in general, it would be fun to get to know someone else better. If all else failed, they only had to put up with it for a day, anyway.

Levy smiled and produced a blue pen from her dress pocket, quickly writing out her name in long elegant lettering.

With a laugh she passed her pen to Droy, happily telling a whining Jet that he would get it next.

After a couple of minutes, everyone had passed their names to the front.

"Alright! Is this everyone?"

No one said any different.

"Time for the drawing then." Mira had put all of the paper slips into a large hat that resembled Jet's, stirring the paper slips around with her hand as her tongue peaked out of the corner of her mouth.

"What about the exceeds?" Natsu suddenly called out. "I can't go on a mission without my little buddy!"

Mira paused, smiling at Natsu. "Technically, the exceeds aren't wizards."

"All right!" Natsu jumped up in the air, giving a smiling Happy a highfive.

"But, I'm afraid they're still members of Fairy Tail!"

Natsu deflated. "Aw man…" He melted onto the counter, frowning with closed eyes.

"Anyway," Mira reached into the hat. "Let's start! First of all…" She drew a slip.

Everyone in the room leaned forward, eyes wide with excitement. Who would the first pairing be?

Mira smiled to herself, lifting the first name up. She had never said that the drawing would be random, had she? "The first name is Lucy!"

Lucy stood up, looking excited.

Mira reached in for the second name, already knowing what it would be. What could she say? There were just some people that needed to be tampered with. She would randomize _most_ of the drawings. Just as soon as she had scooped out the people she had decided to match together. She was destined to be a match-maker, and who was she to tamper with destiny?

Mira Jane Strauss, of course. Hence the tampering of destiny she did as she drew out her own destined names.

"And, what do you know, the second name is Natsu!"

Natsu jumped from his chair, his fists flaming as he punched the air. "Alright, Lucy!"

She sagged. "Why is it always you?" She moaned out. She looked across the room at Levy, whom she had been hoping to get paired with, and offered up a small shrug.

Levy had been hoping for the same pairing, but she was still happy Lucy at least got to go with someone she liked. She gave a little shrug, too, trying to tell her best friend that it was alright.

"Next we have…" Mira drew another name. "Gray!"

The man stood, shirt missing, and crossed his arms as he scanned the room.

Mira hardly glanced at the second name, already knowing what it would be. "And… Juvia!"

Juvia stood from her seat, her eyes turning into huge pink hearts. "Oh, Juvia is so happy to be paired with Gray-sama!"

Gray looked like he didn't much care, but he didn't look unhappy, so that was good.

Mira picked another name out of the hat, her fingers feeling that it was a slip she hadn't tampered with. "Freed!" She said with a big smile. "And, Lissana!" She was glad her sister had been partnered with that man; she happened to like Freed and trusted him a lot.

She pulled another name. "Cana! And… Pantherlilly!"

They both looked okay with the arrangement. Cana knew he wouldn't mind sitting with her and letting her drink, and Lilly knew that Cana was actually pretty good for conversation.

Mira pulled out another one of her paired slips. "Levy, and…" She paused for affect, grinning as she pulled the next name. "Gajeel!"

"Levvvvy!" Her teammates cried, sobbing comically as they both attached to her side. She laughed, patting their heads.

"It's only for a day!" She argued. "You'll be fine!"

The men continued to sob.

Gajeel looked pleased over in his booth.

Mira pulled up another paired slip, and read out, "Elfman and Evergreen!"

They both pretended to be displeased.

An un-tampered slip. "Bickslow and Wakaba." Then another. "Happy and Romeo." And another. "Jet and Redus."

Jet started to bawl even harder.

Mira next drew "Bisca," but the woman had already gotten with Alzack, so she didn't have to put them together in hopes of love blooming. And so she ended up with the random drawing of, "Tono."

"Droy and Carla-" said cat rolled her eyes, looking put out by the selection. "Max and Redus, Wendy and Alzack,"

Then she pulled her own name. "Me! And…" she pulled another name. "Laxus." She looked up at him to catch his nod.

"Lastly," She pulled a slip she would have tampered with had the man with the red tattoo on his face been there. "Erza. And-" she pulled out the last slip. "Kinana!"

Everyone was already breaking off into pairings, looking a little unsure about it, but not hesitant. "So, that's everyone! I hope you all get some good work done for the day!"

Mira walked back to the bar, Laxus following behind her. "Do you know how to make a shock-top?" She asked him, though her eyes were happily drinking in the sight of her matches pairing together. _Perfect._

"Seems easy enough." He grunted, looking around at the bar.

"Well, I'm going to teach you how!" Mira gave one last look at each of her pairings, her eyes shining. Her plan had been put into motion.

~()o0o()~

Levy made her way through the throng of people, giggling lightly to herself. She watched as Natsu jumped up and down beside Lu-chan, his fist flaming as she crossed her arms and looked away from him. She thought it was funny that they- of all people- had been paired up. As if they didn't already spend every day together.

Looking around, she actually noticed that a lot of the teams paired up already spent a lot of time together. She caught Juvia melting into the floorboards- literally- as Gray ripped off the shirt he had just recently put back on, arguing with someone over something. Did those two even need to build their relationship? Juvia already practically stalked the man… though, somehow, she managed to not make it creepy.

"Oi, shrimp."

Levy looked up- sadly enough, she was too short not to- and was a bit taken aback by the evil smirk Gajeel was sporting. "O-oh. Gajeel."

"We're doing this mission." He shoved a flyer into her face.

She took the paper from his hands, reading over it quickly. "Hotel in need of mage help. At dawn a mysterious curse falls over the house, causing the occupants to become unable to move for a short span of time. Witnesses describe small figures running around the floorboards when they are unable to move, stealing valuables and food." She scanned through the rest of the information. "5,000 jewel reward?!" She cried.

She looked up at Gajeel, her eyes a little wide. "That's a lot." She commented.

He shrugged, still grinning. "They got desperate, I guess."

She rolled up the poster, sticking it into her red bag. "Well, it sounds good to me. But what kind of curse is it? I don't know if I can help against anything that's not rune-related in terms of curses."

He shrugged one shoulder, seemingly not worried about it, though his smirk was gone. "Don't know. But it's good work, so why not?"

She happily nodded, completely agreeing. "When do we leave?"

He turned, arms crossed. And started for the door to the guild. "Now."

(~o0o~)

The walk was long, that much she could say. It took almost two whole hours on foot- for some reason Gajeel didn't want to go in a carriage or anything of the sort. She didn't complain- it was a gorgeous day out, and she figured that she could use the exercise.

The hotel looked beautiful from the outside- white stone paths, bright green shrubbery, gorgeous apple blossoms littering the grass. The building was a cream color, the trimming a deep blue. There was even a fountain in the front- for some reason the figure spraying water was a winged cat; she decided not to look to far into it.

The manager had been normal, the guests had been nice. A sweet attendant with incredible dimples had lead them to a room so they could experience the problem for themselves, and then they had waited- Levy curled up on the bed with a book and Gajeel staining out the window as he sat in a chair by the vanity table.

"Oi, shrimp, looks like the sun is about to go down."

"Hold on, hold on. Just let me finish this chapter."

"… How many pages?"

"Just twenty two more, hold on."

"Shrimp! We don't have time for this."

"Okay, fine, one sec. Just let me finish the page…"

Gajeel looked back out the window. He blinked once.

He felt overwhelmed with a sudden dizziness- for a second thinking in panic that the hotel must have begun to move. He struggled to open his eyes, everything around him so warm and cozy…

"Um… Gajeel?"

He forced his eyes open, his jaw splitting in a loud yawn. "Hm?"

She let out a little yawn, too, her own voice fighting off sleep. "You're sort of heavy." She murmured. "But you're warm…"

_Sort of heavy?_ Gajeel forced himself to peel open his eyes, tiredly blinking as he took in his surroundings. When had it gotten so dark!? And why the _hell_ had he crawled into bed with Levy?

Blushing, he tried to remain calm. "My arm can't be that heavy." He protested, attempting to lift the limb from where it had been carelessly strewn over the girl's chest.

Levy finally opened her eyes. "Hm?"

He tried again to pull his arm up, starting to panic. "Uh. Uh. Uh."

She seemed to wake up then, blinking once more. "Gajeel?"

"I can't move." He finally admitted.

She looked puzzled for a moment until it seemed to dawn on her. "I can't move ether!" She might have tried to move again, but it didn't appear that anything was happening. "Well, at least we can move our eyes and mouths… Hey, wait a second, I never even finished that page!"

"I-is that really the problem here?"

"You're right." She sighed. "Anyway, I think I can get us out of here… I don't always have to move for my solid script spells, but the verbal command alone isn't as powerful."

"It'll be enough." He assured her.

With a faint blush Levy seemed to paused- she had probably tried to nod. "Yeah." She recovered. "Solid Script: Strings!"

Gajeel smirked as his arm lifted up off her, Levy herself sitting up in bed. "I don't know why, but it seems we've been paralyzed. At least now I know we're not stuck in some sort of altered space or time barrier."

"Uh… yeah."

"My puppet strings won't last very long." She explained, smoothing out her clothes. "See?" She held out a hand and tilted it in the light, displaying a spider-web like strand of string that had been wrapped around her wrist. "It's just like motor control, though, there's a string for every joint. We've got to figure out what's going on before the spell wears off."

Gajeel wearily sat up, looking around. "How did you make it so that I can control your spell?" He asked as he bent down to look under the bed.

"I had to reverse the polarity of the-"

"Actually-" He held up a hand to stop her. "I don't really want to know. Good job, but we've got to find the ones who did this."

"Right!" She took a step off the bed and was promptly doused in water. "Eep!"

In the shadows of the room several high-pitched voices started to giggle.

"Hey!" Gajeel stood and took a step towards the source of noise, only to have a cream pie launched from the darkness and into his face. He flailed for a moment before ripping the baked-good from his face, the whipped topping coating his features. "You're dead!"

"Gajeel, no-"

He took another step forward only to have two yo-yo's zip around his feet and lock them together. With a loud thud he hit the ground.

Levy sighed. "We need to think about this, we can't just rush head-long into-"

"Come here you little bastards!" Gajeel started worming forwards, his feet still bound together, arms reaching out to feel underneath the vanity. He cried out in victory and pulled a small body from the space.

"Gotcha!" He held it up in the light and then stopped. He was holding a doll. "What?"

"Gajeel!"

_Boom!_ The tiny doll exploded, turning Gajeel's hand black. He coughed once and the laughing under the dresser escalated.

"Stop moving!" Levy cried. "If you don't move then the traps won't go off."

He turned his head to look at her, wiping the pie from his face. "I don't care what traps there are, I'm going to catch one of those little-"

_Riiiip!_

Levy went bright red and moved her hands up to hold her dress together. "Look away!" She screeched through her blush.

Five minutes later, a very red Gajeel and a very red Levy had made it back to the bed- an assumed safe haven. Levy was swamped in Gajeel's shirt and the dragon slayer himself was looking ticked off at having no shirt. Not just ticked off, but a little cold.

Two minutes later, he was shivering. Okay, so not a little cold- a lot cold.

"Why is it so chilly in here?" Levy awkwardly broke the silence.

"I don't know- probably those damn elves."

She raised an eyebrow. "Elves?"

"What else do you want to call them?!"

She put a finger on her chin, pursing her lips in thought. "Hmm… I've read about these guys. They're called brownies, I think. But usually they're really nice and just take care of the house. I don't know what would make them turn into such intense pranksters."

"Maybe Santa's visiting town."

"…" She looked over at him, her lips pressed into a line.

"What?"

"… Santa?" She giggled a little bit, muffling the sound behind her sleeve. "First off- they're not elves. Second... Santa? Was that the best you could think?" She laughed a little again, her smile growing.

"H-hey! Not all of us are so well read, shrimp!"

"I guess." She happily shrugged it off, loving the way Gajeel's shirt swamped her. It was like a tiny tent of warmth. And on the plus side it smelt like Gajeel. Iron and creek water- two smells one had to experience for themselves to know.

"Anyway, what are we going to do about them? I can't pound them-"

"Clearly."

He glared. "And _reading_ them into submission is a long shot-"

"That's it!" Levy jumped up, snapping.

"What's it?"

"I'll read to them!"

"… Not everyone loves books as much as you."

"I read somewhere," She swung over the bed, reaching down for her bag so she could heft it up onto the bed, "That if you don't pay enough attention to your sprites- including brownies- they may do things to make you take notice. Sprites and related creatures are all of a very mischievous nature, but usually brownies are very mellow and kind. Orderly, I suppose. The owners must not be paying them enough attention. Like children behaving badly to get their parent's attention."

"I getcha…"

"So, we read them a bedtime story!"

He gave her a look that could only be put down to one word: _Really?_ Maybe three; _Really Levy? Really?_

"It's a good plan!" She huffed, crossing her arms.

"… How about we meat their demands."

She sighed. "Fine." She leaned over the foot of the bed, smiling. "Brownies!" _PUFF!_ She scrambled back to Gajeel, face blue, hair standing on end coated in ice crystals.

"Cold." She managed.

He slowly shook his head, throwing up the blankets so that she could crawl under. He rubbed his arms as he did so- it _was_ getting colder. Looking to the side he was startled to see what looked like frost creeping up over their things… "Oi, Shrimp, make room."

The huddled under the covers, sliding down and pulling the blankets up over their heads like they were children inside a tent. In the darkness Levy scooted closer to Gajeel, the two of them whispering.

"Gajeel?"

"Hey! Get your ice hands off of me!"

"It's cold! Please, Gajeel, how will I read Lu-chan's book if I get frostbite in my fingers? … Or worse! How will I ever use my script magic again?"

"Ugh, fine."

Levy was glad he couldn't see her blush as she pressed her hands flat against his chest, though the rest of her still shivered. Apparently he noticed, because not even a full minute later he silently gathered her up and brought her closer to his chest.

Her face lighting up cherry red, Levy cleared her throat. "So, um, what now?"

"We wait."

"Eh?"

"You read the flyer… er, thing. It said once it's morning again everything goes back to normal. We wait it out, tell the owners to have a little chat with the brownies, and then we get our money and go."

"Wow. That's actually a pretty good plan, Gajeel!"

On cue he deadpanned, "I try."

"Still, don't you think that's a little too simple? Are we doing enough?"

"Shorty, this mission has been weird, okay? Simple is fine. Hell, simple is great if I can catch one of those little bastards when this plan falls apart."

"Yee of little faith."

"Huh?"

"Just go to sleep Gajeel." He pushed her face into his neck, breathing in his scent. Already she was getting sleepy… really sleepy.

"Yeah… sleep…."

~)~(~

Lucy let out a yawn and stretched, hands over her head. The morning was new, the sun was shining, and her mission had actually brought in a decent amount the day before. She was used to working with Natsu, but even she had to admit that it was nice to have one-on-one time with someone, even if it was that fire-brained idiot. Never mind how nice he was and what a great friend he made.

Lucy plopped back down in bed, hands behind her head. Today was going to be great- she just knew it!

_Flop_. "Good morning, Lucy!"

"Natsu!" Lucy jumped out of bed, dumping her friend on the floor in the process. She did _not_ ask for his face to snuggled into her boobs. Wait. What was he doing in her bed in the first place? "You snuck in _again_!?"

After a lot of making up and a quick breakfast, Lucy and Natsu made their way down to the guildhall. As usual, things were in full swing. Mirajane looked positively evil behind the bar, for a bit of a change- though not much. Now, if only Lucy could find Levy. The girl had promised her that she would read the latest chapter that Lucy had written as soon as she woke up that morning.

Lucy searched everywhere, but after a while began to get worried. Levy was at Fairy Tail at the crack of dawn most mornings, and according to Erza the girl hadn't even come to Fairy Hills that night.

"Hey, Mira, do you know which mission Levy took? Who was she with, anyway?"

The evil look intensified. "Why? Did Levy not come home last night?"

Mira was smirking, an all-knowing look of smugness and success gleaming in her eyes. Wearily, Lucy answered. "No… She didn't. Are you up to something?"

"No, no!" The barmaid sang. "Hmm… Where could that girl be… Did you, perhaps, check at _Gajeel_'s place?"

Lucy blinked in surprise. "Gajeel? Why would she…" Things clicked into place then. "Oh. You think… they…?" Mira nodded a couple of times- cocky and slow. "Oh…"

"Mira, have you seen Gajeel this moring? He didn't come home last night."

Mira's mood vanished- her head snapping up to stare at Pantherlily. "What?!"

And so, a couple minutes later, Lucy had once again set out with Natsu. This time, in search of their comrades. Mira had practically been sobbing at the bar, muttering out things about how none of her pairings had gotten together, whatever that was supposed to mean.

Eventually they made it to the hotel, and thus were directed to Levy and Gajeel's room. The manager was happy to inform them the two had figured out the problem and sent him a letter- _"Magically!" he had sang_- letting him know it was the brownies getting out of hand. They hadn't come down yet, though, and Levy was an early riser.

Cause for alarm? Maybe.

So they had trudged up the stairs with the key to the bedroom, unlocked the door, and there…

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Natsu had fallen to the ground he was laughing so hard.

Lucy, too, couldn't stifled a chuckle. Or two, maybe three. Okay, so she was all-out laughing. But how could she not? Sure, the scene was cute- Levy was absolutely adorable sprawled out over Gajeel like he was the bed. (Why were the covers covering the floor no one knew.) However, both looked wild- they had obviously been through a bit, and Levy seemed to be wearing Gajeel's clothes.

It wasn't Gajeel drooling all over the pillow that made the scene hilarious, not even the fact Levy had her foot tucked into his pocket and her hands deep in his hair.

It was the big hearts someone had drawn all over their bodies.

When they woke up their was some shouting- that was for sure, and Levy looked like she might die of embarrassment. But re-telling the tail to Mira had given the barmaid a glimmer of hope for her eyes to store.

"Sprites," She declared loudly, "Are the spirits of love."

And if Mira Jain declared it, well, it couldn't be all bogus, right?


End file.
